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Posted by: Loves_Skittles on 2010-01-04, 17:10:21
Hi! This is a great question. :) I spent a lot of time pondering why people obsess over someone who doesn’t return their affection, who was not a good fit, or who simply was not interested in them at all. There are two reasons why people continue to purse such an unhealthy relationship. The first reason is manipulation. The person that you are obsessing over knows that you care about him and that you are powerless to change that. Even though they may not be interested in your romantically, it is flattering to have that kind of power over someone. If he is lacking in the integrity department he will take full advantage of your emotional vulnerability. The second reason is not knowing your own worth and the fear of being alone. These are personal things that you will have to address within yourself. So even if the other person isn’t taking advantage of your feelings or encouraging you in any way you may continue to pursue them because a part of you believes you can’t find anyone else and don’t deserve to be treated any better. When people tell you that he is no good for you or that he doesn’t love you don’t listen because you already know that. But there is one thing that you will hear LOUD AND CLEAR which will end your obsession once and for all. When you finally come to terms with the fact that this person WILL NEVER BE YOURS no matter how much you love them or what you do for them you will finally be able to let go. Why? Because the only reason your obsession exists is to make that person yours and once the reality sets in that you will never be able to do that you are free. I find it interesting that the fact that you already know that person doesn’t love you, isn’t good for you, and isn’t yours NOW has no effect. The only thing that will break the spell is coming to terms with the fact that you can’t make them yours - - ever! Then it’s over and your heart no longer hurts and you start to see that they were never worth all the trouble anyway, LOL! |
